Update!

The Cancer Center at Duke is awesome. They believe in fixing both the physical and psychological issues so you get a whole new you. That sounds good to me because the current me isn't too cool.

• I'm going to be doing neuropsychological testing to figure out how my brain is working. Where the deficits are and how we can work on them. They will do the testing yearly to see if I'm getting better.
• They are going to help me do driver training - at Duke, not DMV. Of course, I have to wait until I've been seizure free for 6 months but they will work with me to make sure I'm road ready.
• I'm getting Speech Therapy. Anyone that has talked to me knows I have issues with words and get all flustered and really mess things up.

They are also very blunt. They told me that I'd never be like I was before, get used to it. This is normal and you live with it. This was actually good to hear. I had no idea how I was going to get back to where I was.

They were also very good at knowing how my brain worked. As in not only do I have short term memory problems but I have ADD too. This is not a good combo. Again, anyone that has talked to me knows I'm all over the board. We talked about how to address and work with it.

The best part was the chat with Ronnie on what he can expect of me. Yes, I'm different and here's the best way to work with me now. I noticed he's already using the tips.

I just got scheduled for the neuropsychological testing and I'm excited. It will be interesting to see how it goes.

I guess all this just showed me there is hope out there. Things are different but change is not all bad; you just have to learn to work with the differences.

The Dilemma

I have a small problem. I'm a Carolina Fan (UNC) for those that do not know it. No, I didn't graduate nor attend the college. I actually graduated from East Carolina University. I originally attended State (NCSU) which means school-wise Duke should be my mortal enemy. And it is.

Herein lies my dilemma. Duke University houses the best brain tumor center in the US; maybe the world. Ted Kennedy went to Duke to have his brain tumor removed. That's how good it is. I have an appointment there the end of this week.

So, that being said I still think Duke SUX! I'll now to put a caveat on the statement that it only applies to Coach K and their sports program. The Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center is the best in the world and they are going to change my life. Please don't make me wear Duke blue.

I'm not PG~

Sorry for the delay in posting as I'm back to sleeping 14 hours at a time plus a nap. That means I'm back on regular old chemo which means IT is shrinking!

Ok back to bed now.

OH yeah, I'm not pregnant either. I found out that the chemo stops all the girl stuff and you basically start hitting menopause. That actually explains a lot.

MRI Day - What's it like?

Today was MRI Day. I'm used to taking MRI's; I've done lots. I'm used to the noise, the claustrophobic machine, the IV with contrast and I know if I'm "good" I get ice cream.

It's not taking the test that's the problem - it's the waiting for the results. I should have an answer tomorrow. But between now and then, it's horrible.

For those not in the "know" I still have cancer lurking in my brain. The tumor was removed but there is still some there. I'm sure someone has an exact figure of how much but I don't, not sure I want to really. Anyway, IT had not changed from the time my tumor was removed through the last MRI. That means that even though I had radiation and done loads of chemo, it had not shrunken. But the good news was that it hadn't grown. So this MRI will let us know what's really going on and what we're going to need to do in the future. The plan so to speak might change, probably will change.

Anyway, I wanted to express how anguishing it was to wait for that answer and finally come up with an answer. It's kind of like taking a pregnancy test.

When you take a pregnancy test you already know something is up. You're already freaking out and you need to know the answer. So you have to go out and buy a test. You get the best test you can get (or afford) and rush home. You immediately hit the bathroom and start reading the instructions. You get the Pee in the right place and wait. Hoping that it will be a little - and not a +. For a OH Thank goodness I'm not pregnant and not an Oh CRAP, I'm pregnant.

This is where I am now. I'm waiting to find out if I"m pregnant or not.

*For those wondering why I choose to pick a NO as a good thing I figure we spend 90% of our life trying NOT to get pregnant. Then there's 5% of well, maybe, I don't know, maybe, I'm not sure I might want to ... Then's the 5% of Heck yeah! Let's have a baby!