Two Years!!

October was 2 years. I'm amazed how much my life has changed. The first year is a big blur. The second is me trying to get some kind of life back. Will be interesting to see what year #3 has in store.

There are things I do to compensate that I don't notice. I have problems with feeling and dexterity in my fingers so I hold things differently. I didn't realize it until someone pointed it out i.e.: I hold my fork different. And somethings I do notice. I have issues with the right side of my face, similar to my fingers. Sometimes I have issues eating, food just falls out of my mouth (not often!) but the problem I notice most is that my lips don't make a good seal so I occasionally emit a high pitched squeak. I'm told that's it's not really noticeable but it drives me crazy. There are lots of other things but it could be soo much worse. If you don't pay attention you'd never notice there was anything different about me.

My personality has changed in that I'm not as outgoing as I was before. I'm hesitant to talk to people because of the slight lisp, saying the wrong word or sometimes I just pause mid-sentence. It's not like I'm looking for a word, or thinking, but that the hamster just stops running on the wheel.

Most of my friends make of fun of it now, which makes me more comfortable about it all. They know I can't say my ABC's and not to even think about me doing math in my head. If I pause while talking they just pick up what I was going to say and we keep on going. Some friends still expect the "old" me to show up, not understanding that the new me is what they got now. That's the hard part.

OK, didn't mean to write a book. I was just going to do a quick update and it all just came tumbling out.