I need sleep!

I normally sleep about 10-12 hours a night. I've been getting up later and later in the day and decided I needed to make a change. Go to bed earlier, get up earlier. I had stuff to do those days as well to make me get up earlier but I was thinking it would be a good breaking in period for me.

Saturday morning I got up at 0 dark thirty. I saw the sunrise and it was beautiful. It made me want to get up early every day to take pictures of the lovely country side. I felt really good about myself. I hit the yard sales, dropped off stuff to my Aunt, went to see my Dad, had a late lunch and hit the outlet mall. Yes, it was a lot of stuff I realize now. After the mall on the way home, we decided to hit one last flea market even though we were dragging. Keep in mind by this point I've taken 2 separate doses of Adderall to give me energy. I get home a little late - by this point my family should know I have NO sense of time and should be able to help me. Had dinner with friends, they live about 3 miles from our house, and then home to bed. I crashed immediately and didn't move until the alarm went off the next day. I think that's a normal/regular person day.

Sunday I get up a little later but still earlier than normal for Church. And it was another busy day. Church, Daytona 500 party, photo session with a friends kids and then back home for dinner and bed. Again took both doses of Adderall to keep going with a couple of Mt Dews to make it. I was so tired yesterday afternoon my memory went and speech were total shit. When I could remember what to say I'd slur it or just pronounce wrong. Again totally crashed and didn't move until morning.

Monday - day three. I got up about the same time this morning, could hardly make it. Chugged a Pepsi and took some Adderall so I could get going. By the time I finished my Doctor's appointment and a couple errands, I could hardly keep my eyes open. It wasn't even close to time for another Adderall. I got home and took a serious power nap - for about 3 hours or so. Normally I'm a light sleeper but I didn't even hear my husband come home. I'm not sure if I even moved in the bed.

I realize I'm not close to a normal person anymore. No way I could hold a job when I NEED to sleep 10-12 hours a night. I'd have just enough time to work, eat and go back to sleep. IF I could make it through a day of working. After the power nap I'm still so tired I just want to crawl back in bed. Hell I had a really hard time typing this up, righting was instead of saw things like that.

Thanks again world for showing me how different I am now.

What is REAL?

“'What is REAL?' asked the Rabbit one day, 'Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?

''Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.[...]

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?''

It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to the people who don't understand.'”

-Margery Williams